How do I get my friend to be on time and do things I like to do?

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Dear Mamma, I have a dear friend who keeps trying to make plans with me,but she is perpetually late. Worse yet, she wants to do outdoor activities and I am an indoor kind of girl. How can I save the friendship, but make my concerns known?

In any friendship or relationship two of the things that are of key importance are communication and compromise. You are two different human beings with your own tastes and preferences, but something draws you together as friends. You enjoy each other’s companionship, each other’s company. You have things in common. Somehow you made a connection. You have to be able to talk to each other honestly and work out an agreement that allows for both of you to have input. Just telling her what is bothering you may open a door of communication. You may found out she has things she needs to say too. Make it a pleasant exchange though, not an attack. If this friendship is truly important to you, you need to sit down with her and talk this through in a non-confrontational way. Ask her how she feels too. You both need to be willing to bend a little for the other one. Take turns doing inside and outside activities. It never hurts to learn something new and expand your horizons a little bit. If there are some that either of you absolutely won’t do then make that known to each other. That way no plans are made that the other one feels obligated to do but is really miserable doing. As far as the being late issue, you can talk to her about it or you can change your own responses to the situation. When you make plans together give her a very specific window of time. Tell her I will be there at this specific time but I have to leave by such and such a time if you aren’t there. You can wait and if she doesn’t show leave her a polite but to the point message saying something like, sorry I missed you . I waited for whatever amount of time, but I couldn’t wait around anymore. Maybe we can plan it another time. I had a friend who was always late and nothing I did could change that until I started giving him earlier times than the actual time he was supposed to arrive. By doing that he came on time or only a little late and it didn’t drive me as nuts or ruin as many activities. Mama Nono

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The answer to "How do I get my friend to be on time and do things I like to do?"

Question asked on October 20, 2008at 4:30 am:: Comments (0)

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