How do I find a guy to take my virginity?

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I’m 21 years old, and still a virgin. I’m a girl, and my friends have all had sex. I’m ready, but I can’t seem to find a guy. Do you have any advice for this?

Yup. Stop looking.

Okay, now seriously, be glad that I answered this and not Granny…she’d tell you all about the good and moral reasons why you should wait until your in love. Because it’s what I tell my own daughter, I do believe that you should make sure you are ready, but at 21, I figure you may know what you want.

It’s tough to be 21 and a virgin. People give you all kinds of crap like you are some sort of freak or frigid or something. Well, don’t tell my Momma, as we can’t have her thinking she did everything right, but I waited until I was 18. Then, I met a guy that was special at the time and nature took its course.

Before we go any further though, I need you to take a minute and think about why you want to lose your virginity. If the answer is anything other than, “because I want to enjoy a full sex life,” stop right now. If you are curious about sex or horny, then looking for a man can be one solution. But if you are thinking of giving it up to some guy you barely know just so you can be like all your friends who are having sex, put back on the chastity belt and keep waiting.

What I know you don’t want to hear, but should listen to anyway, is that you don’t want to find just “some guy.” No matter how much we prepare for it and think it can be just casual, we women have a bad habit of letting our hearts get involved when we get physical. And, don’t let them lie to you, most men do too. Friends with benefits are usually just a recipe for a broken heart for someone.

Complicating things, when you start looking for someone to help you solve that virginity problem, you start to seem kind of like a wolf on the prowl. Many men will find it either sad or a serious turnoff.

So, here’s Mamma’s one way ticket to sexual satisfaction and eventually the solution to that virginity problem.

First, quit looking for a man. Desperation is not attractive. Go out and do the things you like to do and if there are attractive guys there all the better. But the primary effort should be to have a good time for you. Nothing is more attractive to men than a woman who is self-confident and able to have a good time with or without him. Well, that and nice breasts. Lots of men are suckers for nice breasts.

Second, take an experienced friend, preferably one who will be honest and helpful, not one who is giving you shit about being a virgin, and go shopping. Or, try Adam & Eve or other reputable sites on-line for adult toys. If the reason you are frustrated about being a virgin is related to your sex drive, find the masterbation aid that most appeals to you and use it. (Not to be too blunt, but fingers and a shower massage work well too.)

Third, keep an open mind. My husband was not the guy I was looking for when I found him. I had all these notions about what made a good mate and they had little to do with reality. Once I figured out what I really needed in a man, I discovered he was right there under my nose, waiting for me to catch on. Make a list of what you are looking for in a lover and why and that will help you know where best to look.

Finally, and most importantly, no matter when or who you choose to give your virginity to, be smart. A lot of men will tell you that a condom ruins it for them or that you won’t enjoy it as much. The problem with this argument is that there is some truth in it. But, your long-term health is worth the slight sensation difference. Unless he has test results in hand and hasn’t had sex since the test, don’t trust a guy who tells you, “I’m clean.” You’re smarter than that and deserve a life free of sexual diseases. It is perfectly possible to have an active and good sex life without being dumb. Make sure you are smart.

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The answer to "How do I find a guy to take my virginity?"

Question asked on April 11, 2008at 11:57 pm:: Comments (1)

Mama, the letters “TMI” apply to how I feel after reading this post! I learned more about you than I ever wanted to know, as your mother. (You were 18…it wasn’t that little snotty guy you used to hang out with…was it?)

However? I’m also very proud of you. You gave good, solid, no-nonsense information, as well as very practical advice. Well done.

There are two things, however, that I need to make clear to you. First off, I thought I had taught you better: “masturbation” is spelled with a “u”, not an “e.” And secondly, we are removing the massage head in our shower here at the house, effective immediately!

Proud to be your mama,

Posted by: Granny on April 27, 2008 at 10:51 am

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