How do I tell a friend who has miscarried that I am pregnant?

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One of my friends miscarried for the third time recently. In our group of friends she is the only one without a child. Now I am pregnant again and I am not sure if I should tell her or not. I don’t want to make her feel badly. What should I do?

If she was anything like I was she probably has mixed feelings when she hears about other people getting pregnant when she can’t seem to keep a baby. When you want a child and miscarry, or just can’t have one you can go through every emotion from sorrow to anger to an extreme sense of loss and even depression. Then hearing about how everyone else getting pregnant when you can’t can make the feelings worse. She will eventually know you are pregnant. That is just a given. Depending on how close you are, you have to decide if she is going to be hurt if she finds out everyone knew you were pregnant except her. She probably already has a feeling of being left out because she has no child of her own and wants one. You show a lot of sensitivity to your friend by being aware that this may cause her some pain. For me personally, it was painful but I was just as happy for their joy and wanted to share in the experience with them. I didn’t want to be left out. Like you, they were kind enough to be aware of how it could make me feel. Just be sensitive when you tell her, if you decide to. Tell her you were worried about telling her because of what she is going through but you wanted to include her and didn’t want her left out. The fact that you cared about her feelings and wanted her involved may help a lot. Just approach her with tact. I’m sure she would like to know if she is your friend. Congratulations! Mama Nono

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The answer to "How do I tell a friend who has miscarried that I am pregnant?"

Question asked on August 12, 2009at 8:00 pm:: Comments (0)
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