How do I tell a friend why I can’t go to her house because of allergies?

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My friend wants me to come over all the time but they have cats and I am very allergic so I can’t go very often or I get sick. She thinks I don’t want to come over. How should I explain it to her? I want to go but I can’t very often.

People who don’t have allergies often downplay or just don’t understand how serious an allergic reaction can be. In fact some allergic reactions are lethal. An old friend is deathly allergic to raspberries. She is so allergic that even the fumes from them can set her into anaphylactic shock. She was at a party with a group of my friends and they were wine tasting, One of the wines had raspberry in it and as soon as they pulled the cork out they had to rush her to the hospital, just from that brief exposure to the smell. That is an extreme example but it shows that an allergic reaction is nothing to take lightly. You have to be upfront with your friend and tell her why you can’t come over as much as she would like you to. Be very honest and explain what happens to you when you have a reaction. If you are anything like me around cats, my lungs can shut down and my oxygen levels drop. It is painful and frightening. She needs to understand. Maybe she can help when she does have you over and make sure the rooms you are in are cleaned thoroughly, that you have cat free place to sit and that the cats are either put outside while you are there or restrained in another part of the house until you leave. Don’t go over without taking your allergy medication ahead of time so they have time to work properly before your system gets exposed to the cat dander. Tell her it has nothing to do with her and you like coming over. This is an illness. It is a reaction from your body to something it can’t handle. It has nothing to do with your friendship. Make sure she understands how serious it is for you and hopefully you two can find another place to be or some kind of compromise to the situation. Mama Nono

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The answer to "How do I tell a friend why I can’t go to her house because of allergies?"

Question asked on July 8, 2009at 7:00 am:: Comments (0)

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