How do I tell my kids why our house rules are different than friends?

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What do I say when I don’t allow certain things in our home and my children come to me saying their friends parents do?

Children learn as they grow that every place has its own rules and standards for behavior. That isn’t any different from one home to another. They may vary from one place to another, but they have to follow those rules or suffer the consequences. They need to understand that each home has a way that functions in the best way possible for their own life and situation. What may work fine in one of their friend’s homes may not work well in your own or you may have different standards than their friend’s parents do. By setting your own standards and sticking with them, the children learn guidelines and structure. Kids need structure. They don’t come into the world knowing what is wrong or right to you or in your home. They have to know the acceptable parameters of their behavior and the rules you require so they can live freely within those rules. Without rules, just like in society, there is chaos. Without rules and guidelines in your home for them to follow, there is chaos too. Your children also have to learn to understand that they are the children and you are the adult. They get their privileges by following the rules of your home. They can ask all they want and you can talk to them openly about why you feel the rules they are questioning are important if you are comfortable doing so. Consciously or unconsciously they are testing you and testing the boundaries around them by questioning the rules. When they have their own place, they can set their own standards and rules. Hopefully by then they have learned enough from you to make good decisions for their own lives that fit their lifestyle as an adult. Sometimes it is a matter of growing up to make them fully appreciate the whys and hows of what your rules are. Stick with them. They will appreciate it in the long run. Mama Nono

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The answer to "How do I tell my kids why our house rules are different than friends?"

Question asked on September 2, 2009at 10:00 am:: Comments (0)
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